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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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 Posted - 05/01/2013 : 7:49 AM
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My intention is to post one pun a day until I run out. Try not to reply to this unless your reply includes a pun. (Technically, this first post contains two puns). And please forgive me for not filling the instructions full of puns. 
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/01/2013 : 10:22 PM
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Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
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Daddio
 Advanced Member
775 Posts
[Mentor]
Calera, AL
USA
Suzuki
Bandit 1250
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Posted - 05/02/2013 : 6:25 PM
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Just remember who started this!
A motorcycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/03/2013 : 7:14 AM
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Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
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Magnawing
Senior Member
281 Posts
The Woodlands, TX
USA
Honda
VF750C
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Posted - 05/03/2013 : 9:12 AM
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| A boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his mom asked how he was a nurse answered, "No change yet." |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/04/2013 : 8:16 AM
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Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/05/2013 : 2:35 PM
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| A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. |
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Indiana Randy
Moderator
2118 Posts
[Mentor]
Fort Wayne, Indiana
USA
Honda
2000 Magna V4 750
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Posted - 05/06/2013 : 10:51 AM
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| A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." |
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radan2
Advanced Member
1117 Posts
[Mentor]
Jacksonville, NC
USA
Moto Guzzi
2007 Breva V750 ie
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Posted - 05/06/2013 : 12:06 PM
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| A hamburger walked into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender said, "We don't serve food here." |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/08/2013 : 7:50 AM
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| A hangover is the wrath of grapes. |
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Daddio
Advanced Member
775 Posts
[Mentor]
Calera, AL
USA
Suzuki
Bandit 1250
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Posted - 05/08/2013 : 1:44 PM
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| One minute I'm sure I want to replace my motorbike, the next minute I'm sure I don't want to. It's a vicious cycle. |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/08/2013 : 9:47 PM
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| Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/17/2013 : 8:06 AM
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Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
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alton
Standard Member
232 Posts
Sarasota, FL
USA
Kawasaki
2018 Versys 650
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Posted - 05/17/2013 : 3:37 PM
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| Seen one shopping center, seen a mall. |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/19/2013 : 9:19 AM
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What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Indiana Randy
Moderator
2118 Posts
[Mentor]
Fort Wayne, Indiana
USA
Honda
2000 Magna V4 750
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Posted - 05/20/2013 : 9:18 PM
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| Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? |
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Axiom2000
Moderator
1761 Posts
[Mentor]
Georgetown, Delaware
USA
BMW
F 800 GT
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Posted - 05/21/2013 : 3:47 AM
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Kindergartener refusing nap-police called
He was charged with resisting a rest. |
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/21/2013 : 8:07 AM
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A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
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Indiana Randy
Moderator
2118 Posts
[Mentor]
Fort Wayne, Indiana
USA
Honda
2000 Magna V4 750
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Posted - 05/21/2013 : 2:03 PM
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| A zoo had a camel with no humps named 'Humphrey.' |
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Daddio
Advanced Member
775 Posts
[Mentor]
Calera, AL
USA
Suzuki
Bandit 1250
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Posted - 05/27/2013 : 10:21 AM
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We have had several fun threads that just petered out. Here is a lame effort to keep this one going - pg13.
This is one of my favorite jokes - apologies in advance
A missionary goes to a remote tropical island to bring the word to the natives. He notices that many of the natives have what appears to be bird poop on their heads. The missionary asks the chief of the tribe, "Why do so many of your people have bird poop on their heads?"
The chief says, "That is the poop of the Foo bird, One must never remove the poop of the Foo."
The missionary is happy with that response and chalks it up to tribal custom. One day he is walking to give his lessons to the tribe and it happens, he gets a full load right on top of his head. Heeding the chief's words he continues to his lessons. Finally, he just cannot stand it any more. He grabs a towel and wipes the poop off his head. Within a couple of seconds the missionary is struck dead where he stood.
The moral of this story is-
If the Foo sh*ts, wear it!
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scottrnelson
Advanced Member
6943 Posts
[Mentor]
Meridian, ID
USA
Honda
XR650L, 790 Adv R
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Posted - 05/28/2013 : 8:59 AM
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat minor.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. |
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Discussion Topic |
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A good pun is its own reword